#5 Tonight Tonight

Quoted from Yoris newest book, capture by me

You know how hard it is, letting go of something you love. 

I love this years. So much. 2012 is one of my favorite years after all. And in hours, I should say good bye to 2012. My boyfriend once said that I'm good at saying goodbye. How can I? Dont we all hates goodbyes? In fact, realize that I should pass this complicated years seems so excruciating a bit to me. Drrrr-amah.

Maybe you’ll say that year just a number. But I’m a person who praises moment. Uncountable moments, the ups and down, expectation, disappointments, anxiety, self-pride, are all mix-ups in one bowl named 2012. 

You know when you step a new stage with full of excitement. A big leap that makes you feels too emotional to remember. When you fly so high yet you fall to the deepest. Forgone, you seems like reach everything you need, but as easy as you flip your hand, all of a sudden been taken away.

The beginning of this year is full of laugh, glory, and optimism. Afterwards, bad things come at an end. Here I tell you loudly, a thing that previously I burry and deny. Currently, I don’t know exactly what I was looking for in life. 

Everything seems so floating away. 

That's sad.

For those who know me since 7-years ago or so, they will consider that I usually choose to become careless about this and that. As long as I feel happy without bother anyone and my daily life run smoothly, so enough. Well the framework of future seems so clear back then (Clear or easy, I'm not really sure). Which suddenly destroyed.

You may say I’m a pathetic-melancholic-depressive-bitch. And this time, maybe I am.

And yes, I'm still that person who used to say "Happiness is just a state of mind". 

Now, I’m a mess, eh?

**

#Now Playing: 
Tonight, Tonight By Smashing Pumpkins

Time is never time at all
You can never ever leave, without leaving a piece of youth
And our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same
The more you change the less you feel

Believe, believe in me, believe
That life can change, that you're not stuck in vain
We're not the same, we're different tonight
Tonight, so bright. Tonight
And you know you're never sure
But you're sure you could be right
If you held yourself up to the light
And the embers never fade in your city by the lake
The place where you were born

Believe, believe in me, believe
In the resolute urgency of now
And if you believe there's not a chance tonight
Tonight, so bright. Tonight
We'll crucify the insincere tonight
We'll make things right, we'll feel it all tonight
We'll find a way to offer up the night tonight
The indescribable moments of your life tonight
The impossible is possible tonight

Believe in me as I believe in you, tonight

**

...And here I am. At cubicle, 8 hours to new years eve.